


Understand (Mutual Suffering, Am I Right?)

by starstruck_xavier



Series: Xavier's College AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (yet) but like not in this hfjghfd, All other sides are mentioned, College AU, EDNOS, Eating Disorders, Food, Light Angst, No Romance, Patton Mentioned, Roman Mentioned, but its barely described, janus mentioned, logan has anorexia, platonic, remus mentioned, virgil has an eating disorder, virgil has ednos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25885825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruck_xavier/pseuds/starstruck_xavier
Summary: Virgil and Logan have found another language that they can both understand. Not English, or Spanish, but a deeper kind that strengthens their bond.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Xavier's College AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879141
Comments: 5
Kudos: 67





	Understand (Mutual Suffering, Am I Right?)

**Author's Note:**

> check it out on my tumblr as well (starstruck-xavier) and my wattpad (starstruck_xavier)!!
> 
> obvious tw for eating disorders, stay safe <33

"Hey, Virgil.” Logan softly taps at the open door before entering with a small bowl. “Patton and Roman went on a cooking spree, so they’ve made us all something to eat. I'm bringing this to you so that you don’t forget to eat something.”

Virgil looks up from his Spanish assignments and smiles fondly. "Aw, thank you, Logan." Though, his gratefulness quickly turns to suspicion when he notices how his friend seems a little shaky, placing the bowl down on his desk and quickly turning to leave. He calls out before Logan can leave: "This isn’t supposed to be your bowl, is it?”

"I, uh—" He stammers for a moment, his plan quickly caught onto, then sighs and leans against the doorframe. "You got me.”

This used to be more common at the very beginning of the first year of college. Everyone had hit it off rather quickly, especially with some people already knowing each other (the twins, obviously, but Janus and Remus were also friends beforehand and Patton had immediately recognised Virgil from the track team in high school), but there was always an aura of mystery around Logan that sometimes even surpassed that of Janus, practically the resident cryptid. By the end of the first quarter, a lot had been learned by everybody about everybody, including Roman’s hormone replacement therapy, Virgil’s panic disorder and Patton’s history with depression, to name a few. One slumber party-esque night, when the twins decided to make a huge blanket fort in the common room and the late-night conversations turned a little sappy as they usually do, Logan ended up admitting that sometimes he’ll give others his food to avoid eating, that sometimes he’ll go for full days on nothing, that it gives him a sense of control that he never had when he was younger. A few comforting conversations and one anorexia diagnosis later, he seemed to be making an effort to cope, but he still has his bad days.

Virgil frowns, remembering all of this. "If you can’t handle eating a full meal right now, we can share. I don’t want you to go hungry, L." He stands from his desk chair and grabs the bowl with one hand and Logan’s hand with the other, then pulls him over to the two beanbag chairs in the corner. "I know what it’s like to not want to eat, but unfortunately we kinda have to for sustenance, so let’s try our best together.”

"Alright.” Logan chuckles quietly, allowing himself to be taken over to the beanbags and sinking into one of them. "So, disordered eating, hmm?”

"Something like that. I don’t exactly do it on purpose, but it’s still an issue apparently." While attempting to half the contents of the bowl with the cutlery provided, Virgil finds himself beginning to fall into a kind of rhythm, like conversation just became so much easier. Talking to other people with eating disorders is like finding someone who speaks your language in a place where nobody else understands you. "Eating disorder solidarity club?" He offers a fistbump to Logan.

"Eating disorder solidarity club.” Logan bumps his fist against Virgil’s, resulting in understanding, comfortable smiles exchanged between each of them. "Let’s keep our newfound union a secret, though. I fear that most people who find out that people like us like to band together to discuss our issues will actually think that we’re encouraging each other to indulge in bad behaviours, and I trust that it’s a mutual understanding that we will do no such thing.”

Virgil quickly nods, his voice growing in enthusiasm at the opportunity to talk to someone who will finally _understand_. "Yes, totally! I've been in so many support servers that got taken down. All that does is isolate us even further than we already feel.”

"Right? Anyone can clearly distinguish support and recovery groups from pro, or encouragement groups. People are taking down the wrong kind. What do they think group therapy is for?”

"Ah, you understand!”

Suddenly, finishing the meal is a little easier for them both, perhaps because they only have to eat half, or maybe because they’ve found someone else who will speak their language. There’s still an underlying sadness between them; Virgil wishes nothing more than for Logan to feel better, to not feel the need to give his own food to others, and Logan had brought his food to Virgil in the first place because he knows that the sport and dance student exercises the most out of everyone, even more than Roman who also takes those classes, even more than Logan himself, who dances and goes to the gym daily. Logically, he knows that Virgil should be eating more than everyone else in this dorm, yet he doesn’t. Why? Virgil has the same question for Logan. While he doesn’t take sports like Virgil does, he’s still in his dance class, putting his all into everything as it’s his favourite way of expressing himself (words can be tough, he heard Patton say), yet still he tries to live with mountainous deficits that leave him with migraines and a head full of cotton and numbers.

Some questions are asked but don’t get answered until much later. At least, for now, they both laugh with each other about their experiences, habits, struggles, in the same way veterans would laugh and tell war stories over drinks. Terminology is thrown around that none of the others who happened to pass by the open door would understand. This is what Virgil had explained: it helps when there’s someone else to talk to who can speak your language, otherwise you feel isolated from the world, like no one will understand.

Now, neither of them feel so isolated anymore.


End file.
